Dear Person I Don’t Know Who Was Kind Enough To Write Today And Point Out The Error Of My Ways,
I am sure that to you this unwonted (and unwanted) interference in my daily life counts as “caring about me.” Allow me to put your mind at ease: There are plenty of folks “caring about me” as we speak. In fact, they’re doing their best to “care” me right out of existence.
I’m also sure that you will take this response as evidence that I am in need of this “care” you so generously have tossed my way. All I will say to this is that, in spite of the fact that once, long ago, I disagreed with you on Facebook (and we all know how very intellectually charged Facebook exchanges are), you really don’t know enough about me to make a decision as to my need or lack thereof in this regard. Perhaps if you had started by asking how I am, or what I believe/stand for, instead of just quoting inane biblical passages at me in passing, I might be more inclined to send a modicum of attention your way. As it stands…not so much.
I’m almost certain that, having thought of me, the lowly apostate, it came as a complete surprise to you that the first story to pop into your head was the one about the prodigal son. I mean, that’s how God works, right? You’re just sitting there thinking about someone, and a passage of scripture comes completely out of left field, leaving you wondering how the connection was made, unexpected as it was. Downright miraculous! Must have been divine intervention…
Finally, I expect that my response to your intrusion will confirm the justice (nay, the godliness) of your concern. You have struck a blow for the Truth, the Gospel, and the Christian way! Well, bully for you! If all those things boil down to bugging the unwary with condescending and unsolicited advice, you have indeed done it. You can rest easy: message received.
By the way, in case you’re interested, that message goes something like this: “As a Christian, living in a world full of evil, violence, poverty, and despair (often within a stone’s throw of my door), I can think of nothing better to do than reach out and bother someone I don’t even know about the ways I think he isn’t living a sufficiently moral life.”
Takes one to know one…