TrumCruBio: A Drama in Three Hacks

Donald_Trump_2_March_2015

…it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Macbeth

Rubio: (scratching head): But, sir, might I inquire as to what your plan entails? You say, ‘Smite the enemy,’ and yet you offer no strategy, no line of attack.

Rump: What, sir, is my plan? What is my plan, you ask? My plan. (Stares in defiant confusion)

Rubio: (nodding) Yes, good sir. Your plan.

Rump: My plan, sir, is simply this: good. It is the best plan. And it will succeed, sir, because it will. Doubt me not, sir: I cannot tell a lie, because I do not know the difference, sir! I challenge you, sir, to dispute with me!

Rubio: (pointing) But what are the details, sir, of your plan? How exactly do you propose we proceed?

Rump: The details of my plan, sir, are as follows: it will succeed, because it is good. Please, sir, desist from this odious repetition of words! My plan, sir, is good. It is good. My plan is good, sir! It is, I daresay, great. The greatest. My plan is the greatest plan in the history of talking about plans, sir!

Rubio: (still scratching head) Might I also inquire, sir, as to who the enemy is, sir?

Rump: It is simple, sir! The enemy is the bad people. Unless, at the time in question, they are the good people. In which case they’re our friends. Indubitably, some of the best friends I’ve had. Great advice, all of them; great advice! The best advice!

Cruz: (Looks up from the fire, where he is roasting a machine gun) Would anyone care for a morsel of bacon?

Rubio: But surely, sir, we cannot pretend the enemy knows not what he is doing? Away with this myth! Away! He seeks to change us, sir! And I will not be changed! My diaper is not yet dirty, sir! Son of a motherless goat! I will not be changed!

The light level increases abruptly. Two large shoes are observed entering stage left.

Cruz: (Proffers machine gun) Bacon?

Voiceover: Naughty children, how have you cluttered the nursery so? I dare not leave you to your own devices again! Naughty! Naughty children!

Rubio: Do not change me, Nanny! I will not be changed!

Rump: You are but a lobbyist, madam, with your boos and bahs! Leave this room! I will not be tidy, however loudly you crow! I am the best listener! I will not listen! I will not listen. I am the best. The best…

Rubio and Rump are hoisted from view. Their words turn to undefined wails, and slowly fade away. Cruz sits in the corner, chewing reflectively.

Fade lights.

2 thoughts on “TrumCruBio: A Drama in Three Hacks

  1. This is so brilliant, and what’s worse it is just what the Republican party has become…and I suppose politics in general. Hong Kong is not a bad place to be right now🙂

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