“Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.” -Gandhi

Yesterday, I wrote a post detailing some of my feelings about feminist and racial issues, which I’m not allowed to talk about because I’m white and male. As it turns out, I was right. I’m not allowed to talk about it.

Since I don’t want to make this about myself, I’m going to forgo a response to this post, written by my Friend, and just let you read for yourself what she has to say.

Let the pummeling begin…

Wary Wonderlust

I have a friend. Most of you know him. He is one of my true friends, internet or no. We disagree about some things. He made a post about some of them. When my reply hit 1,000 words I figured I should probably make it a post instead. These issues are complicated and multifaceted and I appreciate talking about them at length. I hope that this post will lead me and others to encounters with new ideas and a more focused worldview.

The friend is Vance and his post is here. My reply follows.
brain-exchangeMy friend, you have been brutally honest with your criticisms, so I shall be brutally honest with my reply. I know you are frustrated and I can empathize. To be honest, you made me laugh even as I (strongly) disagreed with you. Which I think is maybe what you were going for.

You’ve missed the…

View original post 1,961 more words

8 thoughts on ““Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.” -Gandhi

  1. (limps in this blog-forum with blood dripping, face and heart swollen & contused, and not sure WHERE he lost his testicles back there!)o_O

    Toad/Vance… is there a medic in the house?

    I’m really really torn by the “double-binds” everywhere over there. I am truly and utterly exhausted! And all I wanted/desired was human feedback with a polite human touch to check/monitor my own progress on a subject I readily admit I don’t fully grasp yet — primarily it seems because I was BORN male — and sadly and frustratingly… I’m chastised for my own personal and BEST method-of-learning. I’m speechless, gagged(?), and right now (temporarily I hope)… have NO DESIRE to say anything, do anything, or improve the quality of life for ALL on this planet. Not true, but that does reflect my HEART.😦

    This current attitude disturbs me. I’m bewildered by… I don’t know… my ignorance? My stupid questions of wanting feedback? My sexist, chauvinistic, bigoted methods of engagement for the sake of learning? My head is spinning and my heart truly hurts.😦

    And I’m afraid by just coming here to show my support for you… I’m going to be attacked again. But I feel like a refugee! Wow. What horrible place my head and heart are in right now. I almost feel I could start crying. Seriously!😦

    1. I have said – more than one time – that I don’t wish to silence anyone AND that I think people(men in this case) who are asking questions and trying to understand, even if it is damn near impossible, should be given benefit of the doubt.

      I’m told I’m wrong about that and that amicable discussions are impossible and my Pollyanna optimism that that just isn’t true makes me a victim of the patriarchy. I’m not willing to accept that, yet.

      Yes, I see the patriarchy with which nearly all men speak. Does that make them the enemy? Hardly. It’s the system which is the enemy. Not ALL men.

      I hope to put up a post later today or tomorrow that maybe, just might, help us all speak the same language. Fingers crossed.

      1. That would be the post in which you compared my post to the ravings of Donald Trump. And that’s not supposed to offend me at all, I suppose…

      2. I’ll have a good long read, but I can’t promise I will comment.🙂

        Btw, thank you Ruth for your kind open-mindedness. I am SO GLAD we did not meet while you were a Fundy Bible-thumper.😉

  2. Vance, I want you to talk. I don’t want to pummel you. It isn’t about taking away your voice, I swear. It is about recognizing the other voices. If you really think that I want to silence you then we have both failed. I want your reply. I want your reply. We have to honestly speak to honestly progress.

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