Patrick Swayze on a Pottery Wheel!

Demi_Moore (5)

According to our resident Delphic barnacle, Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump as the presumptive Republican presidential nominee has come “out of nowhere.”

Let’s talk about that.

We live our lives in an online environment characterized by hateful, ideologically violent ad hominem attacks, hit-and-run partisan rhetoric, and the guilt-free savaging of people we call friends. We have done for years. Day in and day out. And you are what you eat.

Women assume all men want to rape them. Whites assume all blacks want to rob them. Blacks assume all cops want to kill them. Americans assume all Muslims want to blow them up. And we all assume that anyone who disagrees with us in any way must be our enemy, and at the very least can never be our friend. And the kicker is, none of these are completely groundless assumptions.

We live in a world of exceptions proving rules.

When I walk across campus, I am nearly run down by people so absorbed in their iPhones that they forget other people exist. We carry on conversations with distant strangers (twits with tweets that we are), while our nearest neighbors are virtually unknown to us. And when I do happen to catch someone’s eye, it’s often hard to distinguish between latent fear and outright dismissal.

We are terrified of everyone and everything. We populate our world with ghosts and specters of threats and danger (we ain’t talkin’ Patrick Swayze here!), and we embody those spirits in the forms of all the Others we don’t know how to approach: Muslims are terrorists, the transgendered are perverts, Mexicans are rapists, and African-Americans are thugs and welfare queens. Full stop.

Then, to put the friggin’ cherry on top, we wrap all this bullshit up in a nice, neat bundle of jingoistic self-satisfaction: we are the U.S.A., dammit, and we’ve stopped by to save the day! Can we help it if the rest of the world is too blind to see how much it needs our “assistance”?

We are a nation of self-absorbed, narcissistic, multiphobic war hawks with a collective God-complex.

Donald Trump? Yeah…what a shocker!…

To Pee or Not to Pee…

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That is the question.

Okay, Christians, you asked for it:

Take your religious freedom and shove it! This is not freaking about YOU! And don’t give me this crap about how these anti-transgender laws provide a “baseline protection” for your religious freedom. There’s already a baseline protection for Christians in this country: being a Christian in this country. 501(c)3s, anyone? It’s on our money, it’s there every time we insist on political candidates “clarifying their views” on faith, and it pops out whenever anybody talking about anything anywhere in government “God blesses” America, as if it’s some sort of spiritual freaking punctuation mark.

In case you don’t get it (and probably haven’t thought about it), preventing the transgendered from using the restroom of their choice is equivalent to insisting that I, a straight male, use the ladies’ room. A transgender woman is a woman, not a man dressed like one; a transgender man is a man, not a woman in disguise. Simple as that. Kind of like a Christian who discriminates against others just because he can is an asshole, no matter how he dresses.

I am tired of wearing kid gloves on this issue. Religious freedom is not about pooping on others; it’s about freedom from getting pooped on by others. It’s about freedom from people like you. So, for the love of God (literally), keep your pooping to yourself. In the restroom of your choice. AS IT SHOULD BE!!!

Terrapin Logic

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The American people elected a Republican Senate in the last election. Where the two parties can’t agree we’ve served as a check-and-balance to the president, but where the two parties can agree we’ve repeatedly sought common ground to get things done.

– Mitch McConnell

This man is a one-man advertising campaign for term limits.

Let me get this straight: the guy who’s on record (not to mention video) making it his party’s sole aim to limit Barack Obama to a one-term presidency, and then failing miserably even at that, has “repeatedly sought common ground to get things done.”

To quote Inigo Montoya: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

But take heart: McConnell’s attempts at obstructing Obama’s second term indicate that he isn’t any better at that than he is at interpreting his own inner logic.

So, meet Merrick Garland, the soon-to-be 113th justice of the Supreme Court of the United States.

Shell of a thing, isn’t it?

Show Me Something

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Out of the many, one…

I am a cynical man. But then, I was born in the Show Me State.

And now, we wait for Tuesday.

My fellow Missourians, a pale rider cometh, face streaked with the orange residue of FakeBake, hair askew, arms akimbo, wearing his hate on his sleeve, to tell you he can “Make America Great Again!”

Don’t fall for it. Be your proudly mulish selves, stubborn by birthright, and demand proof of life (and/or neural activity). Make him make a point, not an empty promise.

And when that point proves dull, turn around and kick him in the ass like the magnificent long-ears only you can be.

Do us a solid, Missouri…

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Send the jackass packing.

 

How Single Payer Healthcare Works and What’s Been Going on in Britain

Read this. Please!

Benjamin Studebaker

Today I’d like to get at some of the deeper intricacies of single payer healthcare systems by telling you a story about what’s going on with Britain’s National Health Service (NHS). If you’re American, this post will shed some light on how Bernie Sanders’ system potentially works. If you’re British, this is where you’ll get my view on the junior doctors’ strike and what the conservatives are trying to do with the NHS.

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When Priorities Attack

Democratic presidential candidate, Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt, speaks at the Univision, Washington Post Democratic presidential debate at Miami-Dade College, Wednesday, March 9, 2016, in Miami, Fla. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

(Image by Associated Press)

Viewers had a hard time deciding if the Democrat was wearing brown or blue.

– CBSNewYork

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our national political discourse…

I know the debates are getting a bit redundant at this point. There were some exchanges that were taken almost verbatim from the Flint, Michigan debate last Sunday.

But seriously…

This?

Suit

#WhatTheHell?

Has the Trump Effect become so pervasive that we actually can’t focus on actual things anymore? Is the man’s Twitter obsession contagious, rendering all other tweets vapid and clownish?

I mean, I’m no fan of Twitter, but surely we can do more with it than this?

Is it brown? Is it blue?

Is you kidding me?!?